Faith
by emsummer
Summary: Grissom looks back on his relationship with Sara.


Faith

One year already! What's a year in a lifetime? What would my life be without that year? One year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hours of being a couple. Being part of a Us… a We… a you and me… a Sara and I.

A year full of wonders, of lovemaking, of discoveries and experiments. 12 months filled with learned lessons, revealed secrets and shared hardship. 52 weeks blessed with laughter, complicity and domestic bliss. 365 days made of stolen kisses and priceless moments, tears of joy and tears of pain. 8760 hours of precious memories.

_1 year ago_.

Why did I read the paper that day? I never read the paper. I glance through it, gathering general information but everyone knows I buy it for the crossword puzzle. But here I was enthralled in a riveting article about the many ways we are killing our planet. I thought of myself as well educated in that field and I felt I was doing my share to help slow down the inevitable destruction of mother Earth. I recycled, I washed my clothes with cold water, I'd just bought a hybrid car and every year I gave sizable donations to different charities involved with the rainforest and endangered animals. But the article made it seem pretty hopeless; we couldn't change in a few years what we had spent centuries destroying.

It made me think of my own life. Was it also hopeless? Could I change what I'd spent many years ignoring? If the end of the world came tomorrow, would I be satisfied with what I've accomplished? Would I die alone in a cold bed filled with fading dreams instead of memories?

When I showed up on Sara's doorstep a few hours later, I knew that although I couldn't change the faith of the world, I could change mine. As Sara let me in her home, she didn't questioned my intentions or asked for explanations, she knew they would come in time. Tomorrow was another day. For the moment we held each other and that was enough.

_10 months ago_.

When we started sharing a bed, I found out why Sara never slept: she had nightmares. She'd wake up sometimes screaming, sometimes in tears and then force herself to stay awake until it was time to go to work. Sometimes I would coax her back to sleep, I'd whisper words of comfort and stroke her hair until exhaustion claimed her, but often the nightmares would reappear a few hours later and it made me feel powerless.

One day, she decided to share their contents with me. Not surprisingly, the dreams were related to her tragic past, her father's abuse and his ultimate death at her mother's hands. She shared with me things that I'm not sure I wanted to hear, horrors that nobody should have to live with, but I listened until her breathing slowed and she fell asleep in my arms. I couldn't change the past, but as I rocked her gently I promised to love her and cherish her for the rest of our lives.

The next day I got her a Dream Catcher and we put it over the bed, the nightmares slowly faded away and eventually they completely disappeared. I enjoy watching Sara smile in her dreams.

_ 25 weeks ago_.

I knew as soon as we walked in, that this was our house. I reached for Sara's hand and she squeezed it in agreement. It wasn't the perfect house we had envisioned - there wasn't a garage, the living room was small and the kitchen poorly lit - but these were details that could be fixed. The house was filled with an incredible positive energy and it just screamed _home._ The smile on Sara's face told me she felt it too.

We didn't waste any time, within days we had packed up my townhouse and her apartment and had moved in our new neighborhood. I never imagined myself living in the suburbs where kids could safely ride their bicycles and people would wave at you when walking their dogs. But there are a lot of things I couldn't imagine myself doing before moving in with Sara. I found myself eating organic food and buying scented candles. I waited patiently at home improvement stores while Sara picked just the right shades of paint to cover our walls. I sat through countless hours of chick flicks and 80's music. I never complained because it was all part of our lives together.

_75 days ago_.

We had agreed to keep our relationship a secret. Professional repercussions were a definite possibility but most importantly we didn't want people speculating about us. Overtime, it became routine and we had no problems separating our professional and personal lives. We heard the occasional rumor and felt the curious stares but we never acknowledged anything. Eventually people moved on to other subjects.

Until one day I had enough. I realized I had spent the best part of a decade hiding my feelings for Sara and it wasn't fair to either of us. The width of Sara's smile and the mind blowing sex that followed when I told her we wouldn't hide anymore, told me I was making the right decision. We weren't going to make an announcement; people would figure it out for themselves. I knew my job might eventually be jeopardized but Sara was worth it. My career was part of my life but Sara _was_ my life. She had filled my life with hope, warmed my bed and turned my dreams into memories. If the end of the world came tomorrow, I wouldn't care because she'd be by my side.

_5 hours ago_.

I spent all day pretending that I didn't remember our anniversary, but she saw right through me. It must have been the sparkle in my eye or the smirk on my face. I did manage to escape her radar at work long enough to hurry home and get everything started. I surprised her with her favorite dish, accompanied by her favorite wine. I even managed to bake the perfect apple pie which she ate with delightful noises that I knew would later extend to the bedroom.

For now, we stood in the living room holding each other, not unlike one year ago on this exact day. Only this time we were in I our_ /I _living room, in I our I house and we were dancing to Sara's favorite song. She said it was our song. I held her closer and listened to her singing along. I joined in on the chorus. She was right; the lyrics suited us perfectly.

_I The more I read the papers  
The less I comprehend  
The world with all its capers  
And how it all will end.  
Nothing seems to be lasting.  
But that isn't our affair;  
We've got something permanent,  
I mean in the way we care._

_It's very clear  
Our love is here to stay;  
Not for a year  
But ever and a day.  
The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know  
May just be passing fancies,  
And in time may go._

_But, oh my dear,  
Our love is here to stay;  
Together were going a long, long way.  
In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble,  
They're only made of clay,  
But our love is here to stay. /I_


End file.
